Have you ever worked with someone who was amazing at getting a group to come together around common goals and succeed? Would you like to be known for being collaborative in your approach to leading? Want to know what it is that enables a superior performer to become a respected leader? If so, you are in the right place! In March, we will explore Conversations for Commitment, Action and Accountability.
This includes wrapping up the February focus on Emotional Intelligence. The 5th step in building high EQ is mastering social skills. "Social Skills" are the ability to work with a group of people to have them create momentum towards their goals. When we have high social skills others see us as emotionally intelligent. We are able to guide ourselves and others through stuck emotions. We know how and when to shift our focus to create better results. I refer to this as "processing ourselves thru our emotions." To process ourselves through our emotions, we know the questions to ask when we feel challenging emotions. For example, when feeling anger, stop and ask, "What crossed my boundaries? Who do I want to have a conversation with to clean up the crossed boundaries?" Also included in processing ourselves thru challenging emotions it is useful to remember it takes 5 positive emotional experiences to dilute one negative emotional experience, we ask ourselves, "What can I do to have positive emotional triggers in my work area?" As leaders we ask ourselves, "What can I do to be a positive emotional trigger for my team?"
Leading up to this moment, each week in February we covered one of the steps in building Emotional Intelligence:
- Self Awareness - Knowing what we feel in the moment
- Self Regulation - Using what we feel in the moment to wisely inform our actions (not take over us)
- Motivation - Knowing what we are passionate about and making choices to do projects and roles that motivate us
- Empathy - The ability to understand what someone else is feeling in the moment and use it to inform your conversation with them
When we have integrated each of these abilities into our behavior and actions we will be able to demonstrate success in Social Skills - The ability to work with a group of people to have them create momentum toward common goals. When we do this well we will be able to guide conversations for Commitment, Action and Accountability. Do you have an example of someone who does these very well? Please reach out to me and share your experience! Next week I'll focus on Conversations for Commitment.